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  • Writer's pictureRachael Shaffer

How to Make Yourself Irreplaceable!

Is there someone in your life, to whom you feel bonded or attached, and it's not something that you can logically explain?

Think about what he/she offers you that maybe others in your life don't or can't. If you are able to pinpoint exactly what it is that you're receiving, you could fulfill the very same criteria for anyone you choose and make yourself IRREPLACEABLE.

Chances are, the individuals that you value the most in your life are fulfilling most, if not all, of your SIX BASIC HUMAN NEEDS.

So, based on Human Needs Psychology, what are these fundamental needs that every human being, no matter where in the world, shares?

  1. Certainty/Comfort

  2. Uncertainty/Variety

  3. Love/Connection

  4. Significance/Independence

  5. Growth

  6. Contribution

CERTAINTY, or comfort, a state that's required for our sanity and survival, will feel satisfied when we feel safe and have a high level of predictability or low level of risk. However, if every area of our lives is predictable and safe, guess how we begin to feel. Bored! So we also have a need for...

UNCERTAINTY, or variety, which is met when we are able to significantly shift one of our mental, emotional, or physical states to another frequently, when our circumstances are insecure, or when we partake in behavior associated with a high amount of risk.

LOVE and connection are felt when we perceive what makes us the same as someone or a group of people, as well as when we are being vulnerable and authentic. But we also need to stand out from the crowd, so we also have a need for...

SIGNIFICANCE, or individuality, which requires us to honor our uniqueness. We can also meet this need by acting strong and confident or in any way that we believe sets us apart.

These first four needs are those of our PERSONALITY and will be met even if we must deceive ourselves. You've also probably already recognized that there are both healthy and unhealthy ways to fulfill the personality's needs.

The final two basic human needs are those of the SOUL, and we can survive without meeting them, but we'll only ever feel satisfaction when we meet these last two needs...

GROWTH is the first need of the soul, and it's met when we perceive that we are moving forward, improving, learning, and becoming wiser and more discerning.

CONTRIBUTION is the final basic human need and is fulfilled by giving of ourselves to help another in whatever form that may take.

If you have someone in your life that significantly satisfies 3 or more of these needs, you will feel deeply connected and attached to him/her. It's not as easy as it appears laid out like this, however, as everyone prioritizes them differently and has their own, unique rules in place about how these needs may or may not be met.

Even so, acknowledging that every person we come in contact with is driven to satisfy the same 6 fundamental needs, gives us an advantage in understanding one another and establishing trust and respect.

If you succeed in mutually meeting your significant other's, best friend's, sibling's, even coworker's 6 needs, you have found a SOUL MATE in the deepest sense. Don't take him/her for granted for he/she is truly IRREPLACEABLE.

Warmest Wishes,


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