Calling in the One: Day 8
"What necessary losses and/or potential disappointments have I been trying to avoid?"
Despite my desperate need for rest and rejuvenation, I have been avoiding a very necessary hiatus from NYC. It's been ingrained in me by my mother that I'm "not a quitter" and leaving the city triggers my fears of being a failure. I came here with enormous hopes and dreams that I'm still working towards, but serious burn out is setting in.
Despite my longing to share my life with someone special, I am terrified of losing my personal freedom and space. I feel easily overwhelmed by other people's expectations, and sometimes it feels like I'm drowning in them. While the idea of sharing a deep connection with a partner sounds euphoric, I'm secretly terrified of being manipulated, controlled, and betrayed. So, I tend to attract the deeply wounded, emotionally unavailable, or smooth talking men and disillusionment quickly sets in. My ability to detach from the situation- not so quick. Maybe being a quitter in this case isn't such a bad thing... 😉
What were your conclusions from this chapter? Comment below!
If you'd rather share in private, don't hesitate to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Warmest Wishes, Rachael