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  • Rachael Marie Shaffer, RMT

Calling in the One: Day 10

Reading through this chapter and doing the inquiry helped me to realize that, despite a lot of transformation and boundary work I've done, I still have some lingering toxic ties (as Katherine Woodward Thomas calls them) and habits that create my participation in these entanglements.

I realized that I don't prioritize my needs/desires and ignore my own needs much of the time. Because I put others' needs before my own much of the time, I expect reciprocation from them. When they are unable to show up for me in this way, I feel disappointment and resentment. I need to use the energy that I've been investing in giving care to others for my own self-care.

I also have a lot of fears that get triggered in romantic relationship, particularly fears of abandonment, betrayal, losing love/interest, and the fear of regret. Guilt overwhelms me if I don't offer care and consolation to those I love when they are hurting and food or money when they are hungry. What can I say? I'm my mother's daughter. Implementing new boundaries for myself around making sure that my needs get met first and collapsing some of these triggers is the next step for me.

What were your conclusions from this chapter? Comment below!

If you'd rather share in private, don't hesitate to email me at

Warmest Wishes, Rachael

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