💕Calling in the One: Day 15
The similarities between the care I received as a child and my relationships today are:
▪️ I attract men who are all about me at first, then get very distant and give another woman romantic attention, which triggers me to pull away.
▪️ The men in my life tend to be moody and in their own worlds.
▪️ The men I am attracted to eventually feel helpless when they can't figure out how to make me happy and give up trying.
▪️ I panic and feel afraid when the man I'm talking to gets distant and takes his focus away from me.
💞All of these patterns were created by 14-month-old me reacting to my parents focusing on my brother when he was born and feeling disregarded and abandoned emotionally.
The bonus homework was to make at least one uncharacteristically trusting gesture. I happened to have a singing class today with a brand new teacher. I decided to let him guide me without making any excuses or listening to my inner perfectionist/ inner critic. He guided me to loosen up, get in touch with my wild side, use my anger, and sing the song from a belting/angry place. My voice cracked a bit at the top, but I still couldn't believe all of the power that came out. It felt so freeing! Such perfect timing for this assignment!
What was your experience from this chapter? Comment below!
If you'd rather share in private, don't hesitate to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Warmest Wishes, Rachael