• Rachael Marie Shaffer, RMT

💕Calling in the One: Day 45

"Turning 'Me' into 'We'"

Today's lesson was so much writing for me, so it will be impossible to include everything, as per usual. We wrote about our attitude toward marriage, what about marriage do we want and fear, what communities we belong to, and then basically what we give to and receive from those communities and how committed we are to supporting their successes.

Regarding marriage, I would love to share my life with someone, whom I respect and love. Someone who feels like home. I can fully be myself with him, and I don't lose myself or my self respect. I want to feel like more of who I really am with him and that we are both growing and committed to fulfilling each other's relationship needs. I don't want to feel like I'm settling or stuck. I also don't want a doormat. I want someone who will challenge me in a loving way and not feel criticized or threatened when I act in kind. I want a relationship that is fun and playful, not boring, resigned, and obligatory. I want both my husband and I to feel like we are gaining something by being together, being nourished by each other on every level, not drowning in the other's endless needs. I've learned along the way that we have personal needs and relationship needs. If we expect our partner to fulfill our personal needs as well as our relationship needs, the connection is unsustainable. And, yet, how often do we do this to someone?

For my communities, I wrote my family, my spiritual community, the Urban Empath community, and the Healing Crystals community. I realized that I receive a lot more from my family, especially my parents, than I give. The spiritual community feels pretty balanced in giving and receiving, which was a wonderful discovery! The others, my practice and the crystal company I'm working for, felt like I am currently giving more than receiving, which is expected. I'm investing in the growth of my healing practice (Urban Empath) and working as a consultant/ social media manager for Healing Crystals, so I'm giving a lot without an expectation of reaping rewards -- at least not immediately. It feels like an investment for the time being. But I really enjoy putting ideas, information, and wisdom out into the ethers to hopefully inspire and support others on a similar journey. That's exactly why I committed to do this Calling in the One journey publicly. It's not always easy getting these posts ready on the daily, but is so fulfilling to have each day captured for myself and to have people reach out and express their gratitude and resonance! This lesson definitely helped me feel more connected and see where there are imbalances that I need to actively shift.

What were your conclusions from this chapter? Comment below!

If you'd rather share in private, don't hesitate to email me at info@urbanempath.com.

Warmest Wishes, Rachael

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