💫 Soul Coaching: Day 11
Today, I went through a range of emotions and am still processing. Trying to stay in the eye of the storm for now. Denise did write that we would likely be stirring emotions from the deep to surface for healing, transforming, and to initiate changes in our lives. I learned so much today about the power of listening to my emotions instead of believing them or resisting them -- both are attachment issues. Instead, I observed and asked for more information, like why did this situation elicit this response. I've been working so hard all of my life to be a "good person" -- whatever that means -- and to avoid hurting others. This has been a terrible strategy overall. Denying our darker emotions and putting our own needs last is a recipe for self-sabotage and self-destruction.
Today, I learned a deep truth that I knew logically and it's been on my radar for a long long time, but I finally think I get it! Compassion for myself! If I can be good to me, I don't expect you to be. You can actually be terrible to me, but because I am so full of love for myself, I can feel compassion that it's because you're not kind to yourself. I've been so much better about accepting and acknowledging my shadow in the last few years, but there was still so much I am unconsciously stuffing away somewhere, only to leak out, intensify, and sometimes explode. I used water to to douse and wash away irritation, anger, and irrational thoughts today. Also, the ocean of compassion swept my judgments out to sea. As for the final question in our long journaling process today, "Am I willing to completely let go and allow Spirit to guide my life?" Yes! So, please send me unmistakable, crystal clear guidance because I feel very uncertain and lost right now. Looking forward to hearing from you, Universe. xo Rachael