💫 Soul Coaching: Day 12

I wish I could tell you that I journeyed deep inside and found my inner peace today. I hate to say that it just did not happen. Even now, I'm feeling a bit grumpy and irritable. I've been feeling a bit used up by life as of late and wondering if there's anything in it for me. This Soul Coaching experience has me engaged and feeling like I'm healing, which is great. I'm always up for that. I also want to be of service and do something that will impact the world positively, but not at my own expense. It should feel like a win-win. Right now, I feel very irritable, angry, and a bit stir-crazy. Usually, when these heated emotions get triggered, a little space and visualization soothes them away. But this feels different. As an emotional person, I know that I need to give myself time to process.

I wanted to get makeup highlighter, so I went to the makeup store today, browsed around and took my time -- went slow, as our Committed to Change exercise instructed. I even let one of the artists try different makeup on me. It was nice. The irritable feeling still lingered underneath the surface though. When I left, I still wanted to be out, so I drove by the movie theater and couldn't really see any showtimes. Even online, it said there weren't any starting, so I looked up fun things to do around here. You know what came up? A railroad museum. I felt so frustrated. I went home. All the while looking for signs. If you know me well, you know that I've wanted to visit and live in CA for a long time. As I did the Playing Full Out exercise of sitting in stillness and doing nothing, I felt called to look for job listings in Southern California. After looking for a while with no luck, I recalled a holistic learning center, at which a former co-worker had previously worked. I looked at their site, and they have a few job openings. I don't know if I'm the right match, but it felt good to channel the angsty energy into action. I think maybe it was the sign I was looking for all along -- a sign to take empowered action. Wish me luck! xo Rachael